We have had a nice few days away, and been able to relax a little. We got in some cliff top walks, with great views, and surprisingly warm weather. This did lead to my wife being very tired alot though.

This is a chance to forget our troubles. But they are always at the back of our minds. She is in for scans next week, probably with treatment starting in the next few weeks.

We can wish for some resurrection, but I know it won’t be happening. Five years in, I am realistic where the end will be, and it likely won’t be positive. Unless a miracle occurs, sadness will come to our family. Sometimes I do feel this would be best, as we have the pain of waiting, but then I do wish things could be more happy. Prepare for the worst, that is the mantra.

This disease has held us back. Friends move on with their lives, while we are sat in a holding pattern. But maybe that is an excuse not to be trying harder. I should be more positive, and do try, before my wife has an evening when she collapses on the sofa and crashes asleep all evening. It is a bitch of a disease.

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