I havent been here for a while. To be honest, you can probably measure my mental health by the number of posts. When I feel better I dont write so much, and vice versa. Guess I am now heading into a bad time.
This week is scan week, and I am again going in worried. The last few times, and the prompt for my wifes radiotherapy earlier this year, was the sight of tumours on the liver. These were slowed in growth, but did increase in number at the last MRI.
I have seen my wifes situation deteriorate a bit though. Maybe even a lot. She gets tired easily, like really tired, even from just doing some cleaning around the house. She cant walk too far without looking really pained. She gets nauseous around food at times, and cant eat much. Her skin feels itchy. Finally she has had a pain on her side, which she wont say how bad it is, but I have seen her wince.
So of course I googled. I know I shouldnt do it, but I am desperate at time to know where all this is going to go, and need the info. On the American Cancer society website (so I guess a fairly reputable source) they list the following as symptoms of liver metastases:
- Loss of appetite
- Feeling tired or weak
- Itchy skin
- Yellowing of the whites of the eyes or skin (jaundice)
- Bloated belly
- Leg swelling
- Pain in the upper right part of the abdomen (belly) (less common)
These all seem similar to what I am seeing. I know from the last scans that this is probably the case, and so now the question will be is it significant enough for the specialist to say they need to do something. We hope not before Christmas, however Id hate to miss some vital sign and not act quick enough. We have done that before.
This all adds to the uncertainty we are dealing with. The worry that the disease may come back is always in our minds, and as seen above the list of potential symptoms are long and scarily mundane at first. It is easy to dismiss it as fighting off a cold, or a stomach bug the kids have picked up in school.
I keep my fingers crossed, but the signs are not great.
The link to the page I mentioned above is as follows. It is worth reading if you are worried. And as always click the link to buy me a coffee or something stronger if you feel inclined