Not a great nights sleep last night. My son (11) couldnt get to sleep, and eventually came into our room.
He said he was anxious, and worried. To be honest we all are. The reality of my wifes condition could be seen while we were away this last week. The lack of strength, not being able to eat much and generally feeling crappy. It messes with my head, so goodness knows how his less developed mind processes it all.
While we were away though, one of the family groups has a son a similar age. And he lost his father two years ago. Not to cancer, but to a heart problem. It was very quick. But the two children and his widow have had to cope with that shock, and move on with their lives. They have done it remarkably well.
It is good for my son to have a friend who understands a little of what he is going through. They may not talk about it (they are young teenagers basically), but the shared bond must be there. When the probably inevitable happens with my wife, I really hope this bond will help. I dont know really what he thinks of his mothers diagnosis. I know he is very clingy, and loathe to leave her. But in terms of other thoughts it is hard to tell. Again, they dont talk much at that age, apart from to demand food! I only really know something is wrong when he wakes like last night.
We all need someone to talk to, something I have mentioned before on my twitter (http://twitter.com/@mywifehascance1). It isnt always easy – I am very introverted so cant just reach out to people like some can. So I am happy to see him have a friend like that.
Of course, I dont know if seeing his friend caused the lack of sleep, or whether the end of the holidays hit home. Whatever it was, I am shattered now!
My wife has managed a few more things today. We had to go to pick up her aunt from an hour away, and my wide managed to be in the car the whole time. The only problem with that is the sitting aggravates her stomach. Being almost twisted hurts her, along with the rigidity of being in one place.
She has eaten more today though. Back on normal food, and away from the overly rich festive food. Hopefully that will make things better for her.