I am currently reading Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harai, about the history of humankind. It is making me feel very small in the world, when learning that humans have existed 300,000 years give or take.
The book is brilliant by the way, and I am learning alot from it. Highly recommended (the link above will take you to Amazon if you want to get a copy).
Combining that with my wifes trip to hospital has made me consider the futility of our lives a little bit.
If humans have existed for 300,00 years, our individual lives are but a speck on the timeline. Pretty inconsequential you might say.
Which lead me to think about the battles facing my wife. What is the point of putting her through the mental and physical hardship of scans and maybe treatment, when our lives play such a tiny part of the human experience? Why do we do anything during our days?
The reason struck me though. Our purpose is to continue and expand our species. And in our case, that means our purpose is to look after and raise our children. Having their mother around is important for developing children.
We can see that from the recent furore surrounding Prince Harry and his book and interviews. He lost his mother at 12, and I cannot imagine the mental anguish that has caused him. To go through what he did was cruel. Had he not lost his mother he would have been a very different adult.
And so that is why we are going through what we have to for my wife. She needs to be around for my children. She needs to help my son and daughter to develop into adults, and help them develop into outstanding and contributing members of the human race. We never know what they may do in the future given the best start.
Out lives are not as futile and inconsequential as my recent reading has led me to think. I need to focus on the small world around my family and friends. That is where the reason behind the hospital trips is seen. It is the friend who cant contemplate losing a old friend. It is the parent unwilling to lose a child. It is the child not wanting to lose the parent.
We find the scan results next week. I am not feeling optimistic unfortunately. She is very frail and tired currently. I suspect the tumours may have grown, though hope this is the effect of her having had the bad cold type illness that has gone around. We can but hope.
Today has been a day of John Lennon and the Beach Boys. I wasnt sure which track to put here, and was favouring Gimme Some Truth by the ex Beatle, but I think the following written by Brian Wilson fits the mood a little better.
Thanks for reading, and if you feel so inclined, some support to help keep my blog going would be appreciated. Please click on the button below: