It seemed a momentus day in the UK last week, when parliament voted in favour of the first reading of a bill on assisted dying https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/nov/29/mps-vote-for-assisted-dying-in-england-and-wales. This is the first step in legislation that will allow terminally ill adults with less than six months to live to be given the right to die. Theoretically this will give more choice for these people over how they die.
The debate brought out some horrendous stories from MPs from their constituents of people dying in horrible circumstances, experiences that no one should ever have to go through. This was countered by concerns over misuse of the bill, that could open the floodgates to less controlled usage of the guidelines. There were even the usual hysterical suspects talking about state sponsored killing.
These are my thoughts, coming from the perspective of the carer of someone who has been given a terminal diagnosis. Straight up, I suspect as a family we may have been close to being under the regulations at some point. My wife was given a 12 month diagnosis in her first few months of treatment, and was later hospitalised in a coma following adverse reactions treatment, so could assisted dying have been pushed towards us at that stage?
How would we have felt? My wife has been in some pretty desperate situations, and when in her coma was struggling to get back to life. She had a stroke during the recovery, putting her in an even more dangerous place. Would the endless pain, and seemingly endless unconsciousness have led to me having a conversation in a deserted corridor with a doctor, reminding me of this legislation?
In my tired and emotional state, worried about her ever regaining consciousness, wondering whether she would ever have a quality of life, would I have agreed, thinking it was for the best at that moment in time? As far as I knew, she would never recover. I vividly recall pacing the streets during breaks when my mother in law sat with her, not knowing where I was going, not sure what I was doing, not even sure of what was happening, but knowing I trusted the doctors to get her back. Would I have trusted the doctors when they said assisted dying was the best way forward?
But now she has made a recovery (I cannot say full, as she still has issues caused by her darkest days, lack of eyesight, food intolerance, and hearing and cognitive problems). A decision to end her life would have meant she and us would have missed out on so much we have managed to do in the last few years. I am less of a risk taker (I’m not even sure that is the right phrase here, but I will go with it), and I would have been inclined, unless told otherwise definitively, to leave things as they were. I couldn’t have made that decision.
I didn’t even want her to have her peritonectomy ‘the mother of all operations’. I thought that was too risky.
So where does that leave my thoughts on assisted dying? As a carer, I feel there are still extreme cases that warrant it. The very end of life, where death is a given, and where the process will entail pain and suffering. Why should that person, that family, have to go through that process. One of the hardest things I have to deal with, is knowing the end is coming. I don’t know when, but I know we will reach that stage. But I cannot comprehend knowing the end is coming in a few days, and will be accompanied by pain, and screaming and suffering. Those are the circumstances for assisted dying.
Which brings me to my next point. For this legislation to work, then the care given at the end of life has to be the very best. This has to have the very maximum funding it can as called for by some MPs. (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/nov/30/palliative-care-assisted-dying-vote-layla-moran-diane-abbott). The nurses who work in this form of care are the best of us, and need to be supported so they can give all the care and loving patients need.
I worry that in the UK, this bill wont be implemented correctly. The way our parliament works, the amendments will have a political edge (we have lots of culture wars type of MPs, who will say this is state sponsored killing, using anything to attack the current government), when what the law really needs is really tight legislation to work properly. There are circumstances where the end is coming, and patients need this type of help, but we have to make sure there is no avenue for abuse of the power it gives.
Thanks
Thanks for reading, and if you like what I have written, maybe consider giving a tip in thanks.
