Sad fear of missing out as terminal cancer caregiver

The fear of missing out as a caregiver to a terminal cancer sufferer

I’m sat here typing this, while it is below freezing outside, and looking at photos come through on my whatsapp from a works night out. I’m not there, and am having some fear of missing out (fomo) vibes. Thankfully the family are all tucked up nice and warm. We are safe and reasonably healthy (no cancer appointments until the new year, so we can try to forget that)

This isnt the first Christmas drinks Ive missed this year. Not even the first works do unfortunately. However unlike my colleagues, I have other responsibilities.

My wife still has this really horrible cold on her chest, and while she is vulnerable we dont want to risk anything further. I’d hate to pick up something in a crowded bar and then have her ill over Christmas itself.

But this also got me thinking about missing out. We have had a to cancel alot over the last few year, from holidays at last minute down to meeting friends, and even just going out on date nights. The disease has caused lot of living to be missed.

In the future there will be even more. My wife is likely to lose her life, which had so much promise, and theoretically time left. My children will miss out on having her around for major and minor times in their lives. I will miss out on having my partner around me, miss out on those fun weekends away, trips to the cinema, drinks on the beach. Our friends will miss out on her jokes and organising of our social lives.

So really, post a terminal diagnosis, fear of missing out takes on a whole new meaning. It isnt just one person missing out on a fun time out. It is a whole circle of family and friends missing out on one persons presence. Not being scared of not doing something, but trying to make as much of the time we have before missing out for ever.