Kicking the can down the road?

As planned we met with the specialist. The meeting is always delayed, so we sit in the waiting room, desperately trying not to make eye contact with other patients, while making idle small talk.

I think it was good news, but it is hard to know what is good, when the parameters are so off from normal. Anyone else with the measures, and amount of tumours my wife has would be straight in hospital. But in her context, some growth, but no spreading to other areas is seen as good. Bad for us is spread of disease elsewhere.

How can that be? Good should be “Great news, it’s all gone”, not “Well, at least you don’t need chemo right away”. It’s messed up.

It also makes the week stressful. Family say it’s good, but inside we are saying it isn’t. We just have to wait another couple of months.

Sometimes not having a definitive move is really tough. Having an action to take is easier, definitely on your mental state. Again, I don’t know how to react, what to do, what to say. I don’t know what is going on in my wife’s mind. And then just when we have got to grips with the latest, another round of scans will come along.