Safe From Harm

One of the biggest things I notice these days is the lack of feeling safe. By this I mean that I used to look forward to coming home, but now find that home is not the sanctuary it once was. When work wasn’t going well, then at least home life would be there to fall back on, and would be something to look forward to – however now that isn’t the case.

Work may be rubbish (and at times it is hard to concentrate), but there is no respite at home when I leave. Life seems to one constant worry – my wifes health, money, the children. Now this is part of being an adult I know, but there are pressures over and above that. Stress seems to be in all areas of our lives.

And I am also conscious that my wife is living a crap life – she cant drive, she cant do the job she did for years, and sees other people doing all of that. We cant go on holiday (cant get insurance, couldn’t afford to), and have to hear other people talking about their plans. Is this what I want for potentially her last years? Of course not, but I am trying my hardest to alter it, but am struggling to keep on top of the normal everyday things. When they say Life isn’t fair, they arnt wrong. My wife didn’t deserve any of this.

And back for more therapy tomorrow. It gets better and better.